Friday, February 17, 2012

The censor sensor



     I know there is always going to be controversy over censorship. Not just because it is a hot topic with strong views on both sides, ends, and right through the middle.
     However, if we are going to have a topic of discussion (or disgust-ion), let's see if we can at least have some logical complaints and resolutions.
     I have compiled a few examples to show what I am talking about...
     If we are going to argue, let's argue without making stupid arguments. For starters, I was under the impression that the original purpose of censorship (constructive censorship, that is) was to keep vulgarities out of the public eye when there are no prior warning signs of its use. So, with that in mind, how about a look now at the ways in which we censor visual media...

Visual Media

     Let's start with the expression of the middle finger extension. The solution: black out the finger. The (stupid) problem: This gesture is probably one of the oldest vulgarities known and used in society. Yet we are supposed to render ourselves ignorant of its use simply by the presence of a black rectangle in its place. Not to mention that this rectangle is usually roughly the same shape as the item it is trying to conceal. Are we supposed to think that the person amputated his or her middle finger and replaced it with a prosthetic black box? And if that were the case, would it not be just as vulgar to be flipping someone the "middle box?"

Audio Media

     I will try to write this section with the best efforts to avoid being vulgar myself. There are actually two examples that I have discovered to be worth noting. The first involves the use of the "f" word. It seems that certain words have become more accepted as everyday vernacular than in previous times. Others formerly conceived as acceptable have become taboo. The phrase "f***ing ass" has been thrown around casually in a number of movies that I have seen on the big and small screen. However, the characters who say this often have their priorities screwed up. I was under the impression that it was the "f***ing" part that would be a put-off to movie-goers. When in practice, I rarely see that portion of the phrase "bleep-ed" out! The character ends up shouting the f-word in full monty, then using the letter "a" for the rest of the expletive!
     By the same token, yet admittedly, there is probably a little more legitimacy (btw...legitimacy does not necessarily mean merit) to this one. There seems to be some tendency to shy away from the phrase "Goddamnit." In my wretched mind, this often sounds more like the person is angry than a simple "damnit." Aside from that point, though, we see characters in movies as well as people on the street omitting the "God" portion while following through with the "damnit." Granted this is usually for the purpose of avoiding blasphemy. But isn't "damnit" a form of blasphemy itself? I am not that religious, so I'm not exactly sure, but that is my take on it.

The Ridiculous

     Finally, there are those who opt not to use profanity at all. These are the most sensible people. Nonetheless, they tend to be the most ridiculous. Just because they choose not to offend others in the vicinity does not exempt them from the need to express their disgust with the world. Therefore we come to the substitution gallery. This is the place where we have a multitude of words that resemble in some way the word or phrase we wish to say, but offer an alternative, more acceptable option. On the less ridiculous end, I give the example of Dr. Elliot Ried of the television show Scrubs. Instead of using the "f" word, the standards department allows her to say "frick" instead. The point is made and the show moves on after a second and a half of canned laughter(yes, I know...Scrubs doesn't use canned laughter). On the other hand, there are other substitutions that would be better left out of the conversation all together. You'll pardon me at this point, for it is hard to write some of these examples without laughing my "a" off! I will exemplify with the word so delicately maneuvered by Dr. Ried...the "f" word. Considered the second most vulgar word in the English language, I probably won't see the day when cable is not the only place where this word gets through. The most sound advice for substitution would be to tell the person to "take any word beginning with the letter 'f' and add 'ing' the the end. Unfortunately, we then come to see a twenties-style gangster about to murder his rival, telling the future dead-guy to "drop that flabbergasting gat so I'z can shoot 'cha down ya' flipdibbering scum!" Very scary, eh?

An Internet Solution

     Thanks to the Internet and text messaging, some have found a way to express our feelings in a way as to not really outright offend. Internet shorthand has even made its way on to bumper sticker and coffee cups. When you think something is hilarious, and you feel you must say so using one of the mentioned words above, you would be LMAO. The unapproved word here being the always controversial "ass." Putting aside that the idea of a person ACTUALLY laughing their ass off is pretty funny in itself. Another example, for which I will leave you to your own devices to decrypt, is WTF. At a glance, it might appear to be the name of an organization devoted to protecting wildlife, when in reality, it is an expression of ultimate unbelief.

     So there you have it. My take on the world of censorship. I apologize for not suggesting any solutions to the problem. But to that I just say "F-it, just GTHIAHBSKT!"...Look THAT one up!

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