Wedgie Help

Sometimes you just have to do something that is not appropriate to your surroundings. Take a wedgie, for example. In a restroom, it is very acceptable, especially in the privacy of a stall, to remove the intrusion from your back-end in whatever manner will do the trick. In the middle of the room at a small gathering of strangers, however...not so acceptable. What to do? Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom to fix yourself in private? Sure. But what if you've just returned from said bathroom? Or what if you just don't want to because you are in the middle of an interesting conversation? Or what if you just want it out of there NOW...no fooling around. You swallow what pride you might have brought to the party, and you nonchalantly reach around and extract the clothing from the orifice. If you are the least bit intelligent, you will try to keep the conversation focused on the current topic. Whew! Problem solved and no one is the wiser.

Later, when you really are in the stall of the restroom, you overhear someone talking out by the sinks...Did you see Mindy picking that wedgie out of her ass while we were trying to decide where to have Julia's baby shower? How rude. I mean, I like Mandy and all, but REALLY. She should've just excused herself to the restroom at least. Geez!

There are certain things that you think you are doing inconspicuously, when in reality, everyone is focused on you. Believe it...we see you. Other examples? Keep reading...

Among those that are not just embarrassing, but disgusting as well...picking your nose. Unfortunately, this becomes a habit whether or not there is actually anything up there or not. This causes a problem for the picker because many times, he does not even realize he is doing it. And of course, he thinks he has gotten the art of discreetly picking the nostrils down to a science. Just do it as no body is looking and do it quick. News flash...there is ALWAYS someone looking...always!!!

I won't exemplify too many instances here, you get the idea, but one more that I must include is crotch scratching. And it's not just men, ladies. You do it, too. It's just that I think you are a little better at keeping it to yourself. My theory is actually that women take the time to take my advice for wedgie-extraction above. Women love to go to the powder-room. So this is the perfect excuse. Men, on the other hand, don't have time or patience to travel that far before relief. Right there in the middle of a speech in front of your colleagues. Itchy crotch? Scratch it. Itchy butt? Dig right in. Just remember what I said before...there is always someone looking and waiting to put your dilemma into a blog post!!!

FYI...Did you know that wedgie is actually in the dictionary? It is described in Random House Dictionary©Random House as...Informal . the condition of having one's underpants or other clothing uncomfortably stuck between the buttocks.

Thanks for Visiting!!!