Kumquats are not funny. Although they should be. Actually, they're not very funny at all. They look like small tangerines. Yes, I know tangerines are small, too. But kumquats are smaller. In fact, the word "kumquat" means "little tangerine orange" in Chinese. (金橘)
So why do some foods lend themselves to being funny while others just sit there looking or sounding like they should be funny? Who knows. I'm just going to tell you which foods I think are comedians waiting to happen, and which ones I think shouldn't quit their day job.
Let me start by once again giving an example. If the kitty at the top of this post were a vegetable, he would be funny. Not because he looks funny sitting in that box (I could set a kumquat in the same box and make it look funny...still not a funny fruit), but because at other times in his life, he did silly things. These things were not always funny for him. For instance, I thought it was funny when he climbed a tree and didn't realize what he had done before discovering that getting down was a whole different task altogether. The proverbial "cat stuck in a tree" had become a reality. I suppose if a kumquat could climb a tree, and could get stuck (unlikely, because they hang around in trees all their life), that might make it funny.
Parsnips and horseradish roots. One is funny, the other not so much. Can you guess which is which? If you laughed at the parsnip, shame on you for pointing, but you are correct. Just look at the name and the fact that it tries to emulate a carrot. I know horseradish roots look a lot like carrots, too. But it has to be a name/looks combination, not just one or the other. I mean, really, can you get a sillier name than "kumquat?"
I think rutabagas barely slipped in as a runner up in the funny category. Funny name, and it looks like an albino beet. Beets are not funny, but take away that impenetrable red coloring and my sides split. I could say the same thing for turnips, but way too serious of a name. "Turnip." One could head a business meeting of the foods. I could almost see one wearing a tie. Artichokes, on the flip side, can hardly be mentioned without a grin, but they look like nice, respectable cactus plants. Nice and perfect in symmetry and color. Green, though, and green is not a funny color. Pastels are funny, green makes me think straight.
How could I get through a column like this without mentioning our vegetable of the day, the almighty eggplant. The name is hilarious. "Eggplant." It doesn't produce eggs, but the name stuck nevertheless. And just look at it. It looks like some humans I used to know. Perhaps I am confined to using the phrase used to know because of the number of times I called them an eggplant. Anyway, that little topknot reminds me of a beanie cap. And if you get one in just the right proportion, it acts like a Weeble. It wobbles but it won't fall down!
Before I let this post go, I must clear up one misconception. Bananas are not funny. Granted they are a bright color. But at one time, they were green, and green bananas don't even enter the contest. Also, they are involved in many a jocular occurrence, but rarely are they funny themselves. Sorry :(
Comment below if you have a food that you think qualifies as funny. Refer to the guidelines outlined above and let me see what you have for me. I'm anxious. Maybe I'll make a post out of it if it's really good. There are a lot of foods out there waiting for their break into the big time. You might be the one to give them their chance. NOTE: It doesn't have to be a fruit or vegetable, but no dishes, please.
Thanks for visiting!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment