The Great Muppet Caper

MOVIE REVIEW OF The Great Muppet Caper (1981) G

Cast
Director:	jim henson	Runtime: 1 hrs 35 min ( 95 min)
kermit the frog/ rowlf/ dr. teeth/ swedish chef/ waldorf/ the muppet newsman/ zeke/ man having snapshot in restaurant	.....	jim henson
miss piggy/ fozzie the bear/ animal/ sam the eagle/ gramps	.....	frank oz
the great gonzo/ beauregard/ zoot/ dr. bunsen honeydew/ lobbuck lou	.....	dave goetz
floyd pepper/ pops/ lew zealand/ crazy harry/ louis kazager/ slim wilson/ CB voice/ man in park	.....	jerry nelson
scooter/ statler/ sweetums/ janice/ beaker/ bubba/ monster/ cab driver	.....	richard hunt
nicky holiday	.....	charles grodin
lady holiday	.....	diana rigg
neville	.....	john cleese
british gentleman	.....	robert morley
trick driver	.....	peter ustinov
mike tarkanian	.....	jack warden
rizzo the rat/ lips	.....	steve whitmire
anne sue pig/ lou	.....	louise gold
chickens/ gaffer the cat	.....	kathryn mullen
oscar the grouch	.....	caroll spinney
marla	.....	erica creer
carla	.....	kate howard
darla	.....	della finch
security guard	.....	michael robbins
dorcas	.....	joan sanderson
maitre d'	.....	peter hughes
prison guard	.....	peggy aitchison
bus conductor	.....	tommy godfrey
girl in park	.....	christine nelson
reporter #1	.....	suanne church
reporter #2	.....	ian hanham
prisoner #1	.....	patti dalton
prisoner #2	.....	mary mastead
tramp	.....	peter falk
aggressive man in restaurant	.....	trevor howard
street dancer	.....	danny john - jules
doorman	.....	rodney lovick
delivery man	.....	david ludwig
fashion show photographer	.....	cy town
woman having snapshot in restaurant	.....	amy van gilder

WHAT I KNOW

The movie opens with Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, and Gonzo the…well, Gonzo, floating through the air in a hot-air balloon as the opening credits appear in the sky around them. They are commenting on things that tell you they know very well that they are making a movie.

When they crash land in the middle of the street in the city, the whole city breaks into song. (What? You didn't see that coming? Gimme a break.)

While everyone on the street is singing and dancing, Lady Holiday (Diana Rigg), a famous fashion designer, has her jewels stolen literally right off her back. Well, her front, actually. As reporters, something like this happening right in front of them gets Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo fired. So they set off to London to redeem themselves by catching the thieves and returning the jewels.

Meanwhile, in London, Miss Piggy is trying to land a job as a model for Lady Holiday. Through conniving persuasion, she succeeds in getting the job…of secretary. Through mistaken identity, she meets Kermit, who thinks she is Lady Holiday.

When everyone finally realizes who everyone else really is, the three reporters, along with Miss Piggy and the residents of the Happiness Hotel (the place where Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo are staying) set out on an adventure around London to get back Lady Holiday's jewels. Along the way, we are treated to several cameo appearances by such celebrities as Peter Ustinov, Oscar the Grouch, and Peter Falk. Jim Henson even shows up for a brief second or seven.

The movie is also not so briefly interrupted for a 3½-minute, Esther Williams-style synchronized swimming sequenced starring Miss Piggy.

I'd like to say that the movie ends with a song-and-dance routine. However, the ending shows all the Muppets parachuting out of an airplane. So I guess it's just a dance routine. 😺

WHAT I THINK

If you are or were a fan of The Muppets, especially, The Muppet Show (my favorite), then you will enjoy this movie.

Although I did manage to find a significant amount of material for the Memorable Dialogue section of this review (with some help from another subscriber…thank you), this isn't really a movie for watching for such elements. Many of the jokes are situational, and therefore, visual. The quotes that are concerned with dialogue, are often in tandem with the action on the screen.

The comedy is typical Muppet absurdity. Often (but not always) you will see a joke approaching, but even when it arrives, you are still caught making a double-take at the punchline; this is usually accompanied by the comment (or thought), I didn't see that one coming! Other times, you aren't expecting a joke, but there it is. Regardless, you still find yourself spouting the same I didn't see that one coming! When one of these moments occurs, remember to close your jaw, and don't dwell on figuring it out, lest you miss the rest of the movie.

Huh? you say? Okay…case in point…the gang want to enter a museum. This museum (naturally) has an iron security gate (what'd they expect? A tollbooth?). As they approach, Kermit says to Rowlf, Rowlf, hand me the blowtorch. To which Rowlf replies, Blowtorch? Who said anything about a blowtorch? (This, disregarding the fact that they reviewed the trousse d'outils d'espionnage (espionage tool kit) in a previous scene.) This does not prepare you for a joke, but one shows up anyway. Lew offers an alternative to said blowtorch for breaching the iron gate…I got some paper towels! Thanks, but no thanks? How do you respond to that? You just smile and go on…while you are, as the young'uns say these days -- ROTFLOL. (A.k.a. laughing pretty hardily.)

Of course, most of the appeal of The Great Muppet Caper comes from Jim Henson in the form of the Muppets themselves. As I sat watching this movie (I think for the third time), I tried to imagine the characters as human actors. For lack of ideas as to which Hollywood celebrity was most like each Muppet, I chose personal acquaintances to fill in. There is, of course, no comparison, and the bulk of the humor is royally lost. My sister calling my friend from grade school Kermy just doesn't have the same effect as when a talking pig says it to a timid cloth frog! And Oscar the Grouch…well, my Aunt Mary is not nearly as charming.

As for the storyline…it does not suffer as much as you might think. These types of movies are targeted towards children. I, myself, however, am 37 years old, and I am still a big Jim Henson/Muppet/Sesame Street/et cetera fan.

I find that when a joke is told that is expected to elicit laughs from the adults in the audience, there is also an element in the scene that will spark at least a chuckle from the children as well. Note:I use the term chuckle with hesitation, and only for rhetoric variety. I have rarely, if ever, seen or heard anyone under the age of six utter what I would consider a chuckle. Perhaps that is why, when we get older, a chuckle is about all we've got left in us?! Okay, back to the review…

I only did not give this movie a full ten meows because, as much as I am a Democrat, I do not like being too liberal with my laurels. Parts of my evaluations are relative. If I give ten meows to too many of my movies, I leave no room for anything better. Very similar to school teachers who never give 100% (A+) grade, claiming that, there's always room for improvement. Note: I always thought that was a load of crap. Sometimes you really are doing the best that you can do. If you mess with it any further, you're trying too hard to please and as a result, you begin to make it worse!

Just one more thought before I sign off. I admire movies including cameos from forgotten actors. We live in an era where, if it didn't come out yesterday, it's obsolete. This is mainly true for technology, but holds true for movies as well; and some great performers get dragged right along with them. When I was in the hospital back in 2012, I was chatting with a young intern while she was jamming sword-like needles into my arm. I came to discover that she had no clue as to who Humphrey Bogart was! I kid you not. She actually said, Was he in a band? (Which surprised me even further, since the conversation we were having was centered around movies.) To not have ever seen a movie with Humphrey Bogart (and this applies to hundreds of actors and actresses from decades past) is believable (yet saddening), but to not have ever heard of him is sad and disheartening. Incidentally, this is one reason why I do this blog. Unfortunately, I fear that most of my followers are not included in the crowd just mentioned. (Knowing who they are, I would hope that is the case.)

Anyway, The Great Muppet Caper incorporates this only slightly, but a little is better than none at all. The best example is the brief appearance by Peter Ustinov. Peter who? you say? My hopes would be, that between the child viewer and the accompanying parent (or other adult), the child would be alerted to the fact that this person is a very talented, well-known, and respectable performer from an era when it took a lot more than Justin Beiber-level talent to have such adjectives attached to your name.

Just as disappointing is realizing that the forgotten celebrities are from that long ago. Some are even still alive and working today. Actors such as John Cleese, although at the time this movie was made, he was not a forgotten actor, today I am shocked to meet people who guess him to be a version of Billy Mays. (Oh, come on. My six-year-old nephew knows who Billy Mays was!)

And now, as always, I will end my review in order to give you the chance to GET AWAY FROM YOUR COMPUTER AND GO WATCH THIS MOVIE!!! 😼

REMARKABLE DIALOGUE
Finally, a short list of quotes I think are worth repeating. You may recognize some, but these are my own picks (and some from a friend), not ones that are particularly famous:

• Gonzo : Woo-wee! I'd like to try this without the balloon!
  Kermit : Try what, plummeting?
  Gonzo : Yeah.
  Kermit : I s'pose you could try it once.
• [Gonzo, Fozzie Bear, and Kermit are flying through the opening credits in a hot-air balloon.]
  Gonzp : Gee, a lot of people worked on this movie.
  Kermit : This is nothing. Wait'll you see the end credits.
  Fozzie : Kermit. Are the credits over?
  Kermit : Uh, not quite.
  [Jim Henson's name appears as director.]
  Fozzie : Nobody reads these names anyway, do they?
  Kermit : Sure. They all have families.
• Gonzo : [Gets hit by a car] It's okay. I landed on my head!
• Kermit : They don't serve food in ninth-class.
• [Sitting in a ritzy restaurant]
  Fozzy : Boy, a costly place like this, you'd think they'd have pretzels on the table.
• Waldorf : Look ma, no brains! Hehehehehe.
• Miss Piggy : Kermy! No wonder he hasn't come by to see me. He had to finish law school.
• Dr. Bunsen : I suggest we jump.
  Fozzie : Are you crazy? That's about a hundred feet!
  Dr. Bunsen : I didn't say it was a good suggestion.
  Beauregard : Maybe we could jump partway.
• Kermit : Rowlf, hand me the blowtorch.
  Rowlf : Blowtorch? Who said anything about a blowtorch?
  Lew : I got some paper towels!
• [Miss Piggy is stranded by the roadside]
  Miss Piggy : It's nearly midnight. What am I going to do?
  [A 'Super Wheels Stunt Team' van drives by]
  Miss Piggy : Hey! Hey, you!
  [A motorbike flies out of the back of the van and rolls over next to Miss Piggy]
  Miss Piggy : What an unbelievable coincidence!
• Waldorf : Would you believe it, Statler, they're heroes. Now they're gonna be obnoxious.
• Gonzo : Woo-wee! I'd like to try this without the balloon!
  Kermit : Try what? Plummeting?
  Gonzo : Yeah.
  Kermit : I s'pose you could try it once.
• British Gentleman : Whoever you are, whatever you are, welcome to Great Britain.
  Kermit : Great Britain. We're actually in Great Britain!
  Fozzie : Oh, no. We'll never get to England now.
• Fozzie : Hey, Kermit. Are bears allowed in those fountains?
  Kermit : No. I don't think so.
  Fozzie : I need a bath.
• Pops : How're you guys fixin' to pay?
  Kermit : What're our choices?
  Pops : A, credit card, b, cash, c, sneak out in the middle of the night.
  Fozzie : We'll take c.
  Pops : Very popular choice.
• Miss Piggy : As you can see from this small sampling, modeling is my life. It is my destiny. I shall accept nothing less.
  Lady Holiday : I can offer you a job as a receptionist.
  Miss Piggy : AHHHHHHHH!! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! OH, THANK YOU! Oh, ah, ah, ah! Oh, you won't be sorry, I promise. I can type, I can take shorthand, I can make coffee, oh, I can do it all!
  Lady Holiday : Sit.
  Miss Piggy : I can sit. I am very good at sitting.
• Miss Piggy : Why are you telling me all this?
  Lady Holiday : It's plot exposition. It has to go somewhere.
• Kermit : Where do you live?
  Miss Piggy : Umm…guess.
  Kermit : Probably some high-brow street somewhere.
  Miss Piggy : Highbrow Street. Absolutely right. Highbrow Street. How did you guess? Are you psychic? But now, guess what number.
  Kermit : I don't know…um…number seventeen?
  Miss Piggy : Yes. Alright, seventeen Highbrow Street.
• Dorcas : What is it, Neville?
  Neville : Um…pig…climbing on the, um, outside of the house.
  Dorcas : Oh.
• Neville : If I was bored, I'd go out and buy something, wouldn't I?…cheese or, or, or quail eggs.
  Dorcas : Yes, I suppose you would.
• [Neville discovers Miss Piggy and Kermit hiding in his closet]
  Neville : Uh, don't think me rude, but is there anything I can do for you at all?
  Miss Piggy : Um…Yes. Yes, yes, you may suggest a nice restaurant.
  Neville : Ah, well, there's the Dubonnet Club. Actually, it's not as much a restaurant, it's more of a supper club.
  Miss Piggy : Ah, thank you, Jeeves. No time for cocktails.
  Kermit : Good evening.
• Fozzie : You know, if you put enough sugar in this stuff, it tastes just like ginger ale.
• [Miss Piggy throws the Truck Driver (Peter Ustinov) out of his truck and into a pile of trash cans. Out of one of the cans pops Oscar the Grouch]
  Truck Driver : Oy, what're you doin' 'ere?
  Oscar : A very brief cameo.
  Truck Driver : Me too.
• Rowlf : Woof woof! Woof woof! It helps to know a second language.
• Gonzo : [After closing credits, takes a flash picture towards the camera] I'll send you all a copy!

RATING

Here is my personal rating of this movie. This rating is out of ten meows.
⁹ /₁₀

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Uncle Buck

MOVIE REVIEW OF Uncle Buck (1989) PG

Cast
Director:	john hughes	Runtime: 1 hrs 40 min ( 100 min)
buck russell	.....	john candy
tia russell	.....	jean louisa kelly
maizy russell	.....	gaby hoffmann
miles russell	.....	macaulay culkin
chanice kobolowski	.....	amy madigan
cindy russell	.....	elaine bromka
bob russell	.....	garrett m. brown
marcie dahlgren - frost	.....	laurie metcalf
bug	.....	jay underwood
e. roger coswell	.....	brian tarantina
pooter the clown	.....	mike starr
anita hogarth	.....	suzanne shepherd
mr. hatfield (voice)	.....	william windom
pal	.....	dennis cockrum
party girl in bedroom	.....	gigi casler
maizy's teacher	.....	ron payne

WHAT I KNOW

The Russell family has moved to a new city. When Cindy's (Elaine Bromka) father has a heart attack in the middle of the night, she decides they must leave immediately to go to him. The kids have school, so they have to stay, but there are problems with all the usual babysitters…enter Bob's (Garrett M. Brown) brother Buck (John Candy). Cindy doesn't like the idea, but Buck is called on to watch the kids.

Living a bachelor's life, Buck has no problem picking up and coming over at 2:00 in the morning. However, along with the freedom of the unmarried life comes a laid-back lifestyle and some questionable friends. Nevertheless, the Russells take off and Buck, to Cindy's dismay, takes over.

Miles (Macaulay Culkin) and Maizy (Gaby Hoffmann), the two smaller children, are just fine with U.B. taking charge. But Tia (Jean Louisa Kelly), the teenage sister, has another perspective. As the quintessential rebellious and bitter teenager, she hates Buck being there and interfering with her personal life. Of course, she feels this way toward her parents as well…not to mention pretty much every other adult on the planet. But she also has her share of typical teenage problems. Foremost of which is her questionable relationship with a Greenwich-esque (yeah, I just made that up)boyfriend, who goes by the name 'Bug' (Jay Underwood).

WHAT I THINK

The Russell family is one as seen in countless movies and television shows since the dawn of such media, perhaps because it has been familiar in society for even longer; a mother, a father, and 2.5 children (they have a dog), consisting of a younger boy and girl (Miles and Maizy) and a teenage daughter (Tia) who wants nothing to do with the older generation, and has an enhanced animosity toward her mother. Tia expresses her rebellion by being snippy toward everyone and hanging around the party-til-all-hours-and-drink-coffee-in-poetry-bars crowd. (I believe that is the longest adjective I have ever written!) Oh, yeah…she also dates one of them⋯first name ‘Bug’ (Jay Underwood).…(The dog's name is Parcey.)

Mom…Cindy…is a snooty woman who seems to have no clue as to her children's activities beyond them having a meal thrice a day and getting to bed at night. The tension between Tia and her mother is remindful of that of an older child and her step-mother, however no such technical relationship is suggested.

Dad's name is Bob (again, plain white vanilla American here). That's about it for him…on to the plot.

The movie doesn't exactly start out slow, but the real laughs begin when the Big Guy, Bob's brother Buck, comes to babysit the kids for a few days.

It seems ironic that I am reviewing this movie right after Planes, Trains, & Automobiles. Both are John Hughes films starring John Candy. Perhaps I should review The Great Outdoors next week? (Not directed, but written by John Hughes.) You can see several spots in these films that exploit Hughes' directing style. For starters, it's a little thing, but often two characters, in this case Buck and Marcie (Laurie Metcalf) lock eyes in a close-up camera shot. The music is classic rock 'n roll '50s and '60s style. The very end of the movie is 100% John Hughes; a freeze-frame of Uncle Buck waving goodbye to Tia, and Uncle Buck shouting Wake Up! after the closing credits have ended.

In my book, it is very hard to go wrong when John Candy is involved (although I could take issue with Delirious), and Uncle Buck is no exception. I took my grandmother to see this movie…okay, she took me because it was my birthday, but I drove her there. I had just seen it a few weeks earlier with a friend, and I wanted to see it again. I do believe that this is the only movie I have ever seen twice in a movie theatre on it's original run. Anyway, I was taken by surprise when my grandmother came out of the theatre holding her 66-year-old sides while trying to keep from falling to the ground laughing. To put that in perspective, her brand of a good movie leaned more toward Gone With the Wind (1939) and The French Lieutenant's Woman (1981). Not exactly comedies. However, from that point on, my grandmother remained an unwavering fan until she died in 1998. [I miss you, Nini.]

Editor's Note:I have a VHS copy of The French Lieutenant's Woman for sale. If you're interested, email me for details.

Who can't love an overweight teddy bear who loves people, is happily out-of-work, and has a witty answer to any smart-ass remark thrown his way? All this while maintaining a happy-go-lucky attitude in his overly cluttered life.

No doubt John Candy is the funny of this movie, but he would be hard-pressed to be as effective without the supporting characters offering constant absurd provocation. You want examples? Watch the movie! No, really. examples?…alright. Consider Tia's boyfriend, Bug. Okay, now that's just funny right there. The only reason Buck has for being less-than-cordial toward Bug is that Bug is a womanizing jerk who sleeps around. Buck sees this right off the bat and treats Bug accordingly by tearing off in his car while Bug's head is still tucked inside the door.

Another example? (Okay, you didn't ask me for this one. It's a freebie 'cause I'm eating a chocolate bar and my endorphins are flowing…so be grateful.) Buck is called in to Maizy's school because it has been reported that she has been behaving improperly. Here, I must insist that you see the movie for an example of said alleged behavior in action. Anyway, when Buck goes in to hear the principal's complaints, he defends Maizy with some common sense, undebatable arguments, snide parting comments, and that great John Candy I-got-you-there smile.

I don't like spoiling plots, but when you watch it the second time (and you will…and a third, and a fourth, and a fifth, et cetera), you'll know what happens anyway. So, with that said [I waive my responsibility to keep anything a secret], I'll assure you that in the end, Buck's goal to make the world and a few people in it a nicer place and the latter nicer people, is achieved.

I also must acknowledge some of the other well-known players who made this movie a success. Laurie Metcalf (Roseanne, The Big Bang Theory) appears as the wild (physically and mentally) and lonely neighbor across the street. She certainly plays her part to the hilt. I fear that another actress would over-do it. Metcalf, however, can play over-the-top without turning you off.

Obviously, although not yet a hit, Macaulay Culkin (Home Alone, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, My Girl, The Good Son) makes his first major appearance on the big screen and makes quite an impression. Although this movie was considered by some to be a box-office sleeper, it sure lit a fire under tha bum of Culkin's career. The year after Uncle Buck, he starred in Home Alone. The moment he looked into a mirror, slapped his cute little cheeks with after shave, and let out a yelp that people have recorded on cassette tape (some people I know are even screwier than I am), he started making more money than I'll probably ever see or pay to the collection agencies.

To review this movie any further would only involve the retelling of specific scenes (as exemplified twice above) and the jokes or significance therein. The whole point of this movie is to make you laugh, maybe cry a little, and curse at the jerks. But the end is not really the end, 'cause you'll be back again!

REMARKABLE DIALOGUE
Finally, a short list of quotes I think are worth repeating. You may recognize some, but these are my own picks, not ones that are particularly famous (such as the infamous interrogation which, as popular as it is, I did not find particularly funny):

• Tia : Just don't give me any crap, Maizy
  Maizy : I'm telling. You said 'crap.'
  Tia : There's nothing wrong with 'crap.'
  Maizy : Oh, really? I thought that was a swear.
  Tia : No, you're thinking of 'shit.'
  Maizy : Oh, right.
• Miles : Holy smokes! [whispering] He's cooking our garbage!
• Buck : Stand me up today, and tomorrow, I'll drive you to school in my robe and pajamas, and WALK you to your first class.
• Bug : You ever hear of a tune-up? he-he-he-he-he.
  Buck : You ever hear of a ritual killing? [mockingly] he-he-he-he-he.
  Bug : I don't get it.
  Buck : You gnaw on her face in public like that again and you'll be one. [mockingly] he-he-he-he-he.
• Tia : (My parents) don't know my personal life.
  Buck : Have they met twiddle-dink?
  Tia : His name is Bug.
  Buck : First or last?
  Tia : First.
  Buck : What's his last name…Spray?
• Buck : Cigar?
  Tia : No thanks.
  Buck : Let me know if you change your mind.
  Tia : I will.
  Buck : I'll get it nice and juicy for ya'.
• Buck : Get in your mouse, and get outta here.
• Buck : I've been known to circumcise a gnat. You're not a gnat, are ya', Bug? Wait a minute…Bug…gnat…is there a little similarity there? Whoa, I think there is.
• Tia : I've got better things to do than babysit you, you little stain.
• Tia : If my whole family moved away from me, I'd have a heart attack, too.

Okay…i suppose I've turned some of you off by my indifference and consequent exclusion of Miles' interrogation of his Uncle Buck. So as not to lose any of the few followers that I have, here you are…

[with no apparent breaths taken]

• Miiles : Where do you live?
  Buck : In the city.
  Miiles : You have a house?
  Buck : Apartment.
  Miiles : Own or rent?
  Buck : Rent.
  Miiles : What do you do for a living?
  Buck : Lots of things.
  Miiles : Where's your office?
  Buck : Don't have one.
  Miiles : How come?
  Buck : Don't need one.
  Miiles : Where's your wife?
  Buck : Don't have one.
  Miiles : How come?
  Buck : It's a long story.
  Miiles : You have kids?
  Buck : No, I don't.
  Miiles : How come?
  Buck : It's an even longer story.
  Miiles : Are you my Dad's brother?
  Buck : What's your record for consecutive questions asked?
  Miiles : Thirty-eight.
  Buck : I'm your Dad's brother alright.
  Miiles : You have much more hair on your nose than my Dad.
  Buck : Nice of you to notice.
  Miiles : I'm a kid, that's my job.

RATING

Here is my personal rating of this movie. This rating is out of ten meows.
¹⁰ /₁₀

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Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

MOVIE REVIEW OF Planes, Trains, & Automobiles (1987) R

Cast
Director:	john hughes	Runtime: 1hrs 33min (93min)
neal page	.....	steve martin
del griffith	.....	john candy
susan page	.....	laila robins
state trooper	.....	michael mcKean
taxi racer	.....	kevin bacon
owen	.....	dylan baker
joy	.....	carol bruce
marti	.....	olivia burnette
peg	.....	diana douglas
second motel clerk	.....	martin ferrero
doobie	.....	larry hankin
walt	.....	richard herd
waitress	.....	susan kellerman
little neal	.....	matthew lawrence
car rental agent	.....	eddie mcClurg
martin	.....	george o. petrie
motel thief	.....	gary riley
gus	.....	charles tyner
marie	.....	susan isaacs
owen's wife	.....	lulie newcomb
cab dispatcher	.....	john randolph jones
new york lawyer	.....	nicholas wyman
new york cab driver	.....	gaetano lisi
stewardess #1	.....	diana castle
stewardess #2	.....	julie h. morgan
man on plane	.....	bill erwin
new york ticket agent	.....	ruth de soza
wichita airport representative	.....	ben stein
brand manager	.....	grant forsberg
bus lover	.....	andrew j. hentz
bus loverette	.....	karen meisinger
screaming driver	.....	john moio
screaming driver's wife	.....	victoria vanderkloot
anti-social trucker	.....	troy evans
mother in airport	.....	nancy kusley
man #1 at wichita airport	.....	larry ludwig
man #2 at wichita airport	.....	daniel niswander
holiday traveler	.....	kevin tipton
john	.....	lyman ward
bryant	.....	william windom

WHAT I KNOW

The journey begins in a meeting room in an office building in New York City two days before Thanksgiving. Neal Page (Steve Martin) is waiting for a decision on an advertising project from his boss, Bryant (William Windom), who appears to have no concern with giving a quick response...or perhaps any. Bryant decides to adjourn the meeting and reconvene after the holidays. So Neal leaves and heads home to Chicago. Ignoring parting advice from his co-worker (Lyman Ward) to be patient and take a later flight, he is determined he will make the 6:00 flight out of the city.

Beginning with a frantic race with a fellow New Yorker (Kevin Bacon) to acquire a cab, Neal stumbles (in some cases, literally) upon every conceivable roadblock to delay his arriving home on time.

At the airport, Neal meets Del Griffith (John Candy), a traveling shower-curtain ring salesman. The two (to Neal's dismay) keep running into each other. Finally, their flight is cancelled because of a snowstorm. Neal realized that there are no vacant motel rooms in the city as a result of the storm. Del tells him that he has managed to get a motel room (because he sold the owner some shower-curtain rings) and that he could probably do the same for him. Seeing others camped out on the floor of the airport, Neal reluctantly accepts the offer. Almost immediately, Neal realizes why he might have hesitated at the idea of joining Del. Del is a clingycompanion. Neal is weary and just wants to get home in time for Thanksgiving dinner with his family. Del doesn't seem interested in making a deadline, but is determined to help Neal get home. In the process, however, Del manages to drive Neal crazy with stories and anecdotes meant to distract from the peril of the delay.

They attempt to go their separate ways, but fate always brings them back together. This ends up being a good thing (although Neal has trouble believing this) because Neal isn't having much luck. This may be because Del is having it all. Del tells Neal his philosophy to go with the flow. They travel together on this pretense while still running into problems at every turn. While every turn of unfortunate events (including their rental car catching fire at the side of the freeway). Neal becomes increasingly frustrated and angry while Del hangs on to his smile and laughter. Even when Neal flat-out says he wants to break up and continue on his own, it isn't but a few hours later that they are once again reunited with each other, clearly to be traveling companions until Neal is safely home with his family for Thanksgiving dinner.

WHAT I THINK

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...oh, man! I'm sorry. This movie is just so funny, my laughter spills over into my writing…literally!

I have always been a big fan of John Candy. I first caught note of him on SCTV and have loved his comedy ever since - there you go with those Canadians again! Note, ironically, that he has shown his ability to play serious roles as well, as he has a small part in Oliver Stone's JFK.

Steve Martin cracks me up here as well. This is not surprising to me as this is an original screenplay as opposed to a remake of a classic. I have mentioned before that as a rule, remakes of classics are more than likely going to be disasters in my book. For some reason, Steve Martin seems to show up in some of the worst ones (e.g. Cheaper by the Dozen, The Out-of-Towners).

These two are a great team, comparable to Laurel and Hardy or Abbott and Costello with Candy as the bumbling Lou Costello/Stan Laurel and Martin the straight man, i.e. Bud Abbott/Oliver Hardy.

Ironically, I can compare this movie to one of Steve Martin's disaster remakes, The Out-of-Towners,. However, I make the comparison only to the original screenplay starring Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis (previously reviewed -- see Friday, November 20, 2012 below). Both of these movies' plots rely on two people travelling together to get from one city to another with Murphy and his infamous law intervening (read intruding) at every turn.

There are two obvious differences making this film unique from The Out-of-Towners. First, George and Gwen Kellerman (the couple in The Out-of-Towners) are trying to get from Ohio (Twin Oaks, to be exact) to New York City, whereas Neal is trying to get to Chicago from New York City.

Second, the events that lead to disaster on Neal's journey seem to result from none other than pure luck (or un-luck) and circumstance. George Kellerman has similar circumstances arise, but his personal decisions play a bigger role in the unfortunate results (e.g. resulting the meal on the plane, and then never eating for the remaining of the movie).

There are countless verbal jokes that have me in stitches, as are not nearly covered sufficiently below in the Memorable Dialogue section. But for those times when dialogue is lax, visual comedy takes over. Which brings me to present to you the motivation for watching this movie in addition to reading this review. If you were a subscriber of Cliff's Notes in school, that religion will not suffice here. Without actually seeing this movie, you miss a lot of comedy and laughs that are not realized in this article. For example, when Del and Neal are driving along on the freeway late at night in their rental car, Del explains that because he has a bad back, there are only a limited number of positions that allow him to sleep. So he keeps readjusting the mechanical seat. When they switch seats to allow Neal a break from driving, he claims that Del broke the seat. In this case, there is memorable dialogue (seen below, You broke the seat. You broke the Goddamn seat! I don't believe it.), but additional laughs come from the accompanying events. Neal is being thrown around by the seat, which is apparently out of his control. This contributes to half the comedy.

Note…This was a freebie example. You have to watch the movie to get the rest. Besides, the main point of these reviews is to persuade you to watch some really great films (or in a few cases to warn you to avoid wasting your time with bad ones).

I know you can't wait another minute to turn on this movie (boy, you have no idea how much I love butter…) okay, I'm not quite sure where that came from.

Before I let you go, however, I would like to give honorable mention to the music in this movie. There are several times when the action involves little more than Del and Neal in travel mode with only a small amount of dialogue. Without some sort of background, this of course, would be awkward for everyone. It is, of course, SOP for music to be inserted in these instances. Here, though, I think the choice and composure of the music is especially noteworthy. I find the musical accompaniment to be analogous to onomatopoeia in the world of grammar. Extra Note…If you don't know what onomatopoeia is…shame on you.

Now, go watch Planes, Trains, & Automobiles!

REMARKABLE DIALOGUE
Finally, a short list of quotes I think are worth repeating. You may recognize some, but these are my own picks, not ones that are particularly famous:

• Car Rental Agent : Welcome to Marathon. May I help you?
  Neal : Yes.
  Agent : How may I help you?
  Neal : You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat.
  Agent : I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
  Neal : And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway…to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car…right…fucking…now.
  Agent : May I see your rental agreement?
  Neal : I threw it away.
  Agent : Oh, boy.
  Neal : Oh, boy, what?
  Agent : You're fucked.
• Del : Potato chips. They're everywhere!
• Del : Top o' the mornin', officer.
  State Trooper : Hi.
  Del : Is there something I could help you with?
  Trooper : What the hell you drivin' here?
  Del : We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
  Trooper : Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
  Del : Oddly enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer's melted, and as a result, it's very hard to say with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.
  Trooper : Seventy-eight miles an hour.
  Del : Whew! Seventy-eight, huh? Yeah, I could buy that. Sure. I guess. You know, uh, you'd know better 'n us. 'Specially since we've got a melted speedometer.
  Trooper : Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?
  Del : Yes. I do. I really do believe that. I…I…I know it's not pretty to look at but it'll get'cha where you wanna go.
  Trooper : You got no outside mirror.
  Del : No, we lost that.
  Trooper : You have no functioning guages.
  Del : No, not a one. However, the radio still works!
• John : You'll never make the 6.
• Del : Do you still honor those discount credit cards?
  Gus : Well, I'll have to charge you for a double. But, uh, with the discount, it'll come out even.
  Del : Well, there ya' go. That's pretty good. We're savin' money already!
• Neal : Didn't you notice on the plane when you started talking, eventually I started reading the vomit bag? Didn't that give you some sort of clue like, 'Hey, maybe this guy's not enjoying it? You know, everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You're a miracle. Your stories have none of that. They're not even amusing…accidentally.
• Del : We were robbed!
  Neal : Do ya' think so?!
• Owen : Her first baby…come out sideways. She didn't scream or nothin'.
• Del : Beautiful country, though, isn't it?
  Neal : Whaddya' think the temperature is?
  [long pause]
  Del : One.
• Del : You ever travel by bus before?
  [Neal shakes his head No]
  Del : Your mood's probably not gonna improve much.
• Del : They're selling for $5 a pair, two for $7.
• Neal : You broke the seat. You broke the Goddamn seat! I don't believe it.
• Del : You know you coulda killed me sluggin' me in the gut when I wasn't ready…That's how Houdini died, ya' know?

RATING

Here is my personal rating of this movie. This rating is out of ten meows.
¹⁰ /₁₀

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12 Angry Men

MOVIE REVIEW OF 12 Angry Men (1957) NOT RATED

Cast
Director:	Sidney Lumet	Runtime: 1hrs 36min ( 96min)
juror #1/Foreman	.....	martin balsam
juror #2	.....	john fiedler
juror #3	.....	lee j. cobb
juror #4	.....	e. g. marshall
juror #5	.....	jack klugman
juror #6	.....	edward binns
juror #7	.....	jack warden
juror #8	.....	henry fonda
juror #9	.....	joseph sweeney
juror #10	.....	ed begley
juror #11	.....	george voskovec
juror #12	.....	robert webber
judge	.....	rudy bond
guard	.....	james kelly
court clerk	.....	billy nelson
the accused	.....	john savoca

WHAT I KNOW

Ominous shot of the defendant. Accusation.

Inside the jury room. Desperation. Characterization. Deliberation. Contemplation. Realization.

Outside the courthouse. Humanization.

Now, that may be pushing the limits as far as my talents as a poet, but it does describe the storyline of this movie from a subjective point, I think, very thoroughly and without spoilers. It's the movie in a nutshell. However, nutshells are usually relatively small. This movie, however small it may seem on the surface, it does not fit in to your average neighborhood nutshell…so I'll try to stuff it into a clam shell.

But even that is better positioned in the What I Think section below. So, without further yapping, I bring you to the plot.

As mentioned above, we begin in the courtroom. The judge is explaining the court procedure to the jury. The camera pans the jury box, and we get a view of the type of characters we will be meeting in the following hour-and-a-half. We see the judge who, through his voice, expression, or lack thereof, and overall countenance tells us that the court is thinking about his return to the outside world.

The jury is instructed to retire to the jury room, and we see the aforementioned ominous shot of the defendant. From here we also retire to the jury room for virtually the rest of the film. As the jury sits, several relevant comments are overheard. These comments are relevant to the movie, not necessarily to the plot.

When everyone is seated, a vote is taken. The results are 11:guilty; 1:not guilty. Juror #8 is the reason for the rest of the movie. One by one, opinions change as discussion, not all cordial, takes place, and we get an inside view of what people sometimes think, but won't say out loud.

The meat of this review lies in the What I Think section below. The jury deliberates and yes, we do find out what the jury decides…this isn't Rod Serling.

WHAT I THINK

12 Angry Men reminds me much of another of my favorite movies, namely The Time of Your Life, which I have also reviewed (see May 22, 2012 below). Both of these movies reflect characters over plot; granted, the plot of The Time of Your Life is virtually nonexistent, and 12 Angry Men has a defined plot and resolution.

My opinion is that this movie is a success not solely because of the actors, but because of the talented director (Sidney Lumet). This is not surprising considering some of the other films Lumet has tucked under his belt -- Network; The Wiz; Murder on the Orient Express; The Verdict; Deathtrap; the list goes on and on. Directorial aspects are obvious. For instance, you would expect this type of movie to be filled with virtual flashbacks. As each juror references something said or brought out during testimony, the movie would recreate the scene with the speaking juror providing voice-over narration. On the contrary, the scene never leaves the jury room. The closest we come is one scene in the bathroom, which is still part of the jury room.

When the jurors first enter the room, a couple head to the windows as another checks out the fan only to find it inoperable. With a little umph. the windows open, but the fan remains stubborn. Jackets are removed and ties are loosened. We get a glimpse of attitudes and characters as we are privileged to random comments from the jurors. These comments clearly show that the defendant (John Savoca) is going to end up in the chair (courtesy of General Electric) simply because someone wants to see a baseball game and another would rather doodle. Fortunately, juror #8 (Henry Fonda) goes against the current with a vote of not guilty.

Throughout the whole movie, the characters let loose some of their true feelings regarding their perspective of life and society. Even as prejudices and harsh words are expressed, and inner characters are revealed, no one reveals his given name. Nor are other characters referred to by name; people are simply the boy and the woman and the old man. Even as the guard (James Kelley) asks one of the jurors (Edward Binns) his name, the juror points to the guard's clipboard and says, that one. This again is reflective of Lumet's directorial approach. (Although I'm sure the writers had something to do with it as well.) Lumet was quoted in The New York Times as saying:

While the goal of all movies is to entertain, the kind of film in which I believe goes one step further. It compels the spectator to examine one facet or another of his own conscience. It stimulates thought and sets the mental juices flowing.

At the end of the movie, this is deliberately contradicted by juror #8 and juror #9 (Joseph Sweeney) leaving the courthouse and introducing themselves by name. I believe this is indicative of the courthouse being seen as another world, one that is anonymous, whereas when you leave the building, you become a person with a personality.

As it seems to be coming down to direction, another point of note is the physical atmosphere of the jury room. As I mentioned earlier, the windows are stubborn and the fan doesn't work. Everyone is breaking sweat, and isn't that the way it should be? I mean this is a murder trial for heaven's sake!

Speaking of murder, they do. Subtly, there are references in the dialogue; for instance, the foreman (Martin Balsam) is telling #8 about his experiences as an assistant head coach at the high school. He recalls a game that was rained out. He refers to the outcome as murder. There is also the nickname killer given to one of the jurors (John Fiedler) by juror #7 (Jack Warden).

Toward the end of the movie, things start resolving; it stops raining, the jurors are noticeably drier, and the fan is fixed.

[Almost] finally, juror #8 is the only one wearing a white suit…denoting the savior of the defendant?

[Truly] finally, as I mentioned, this is a study of characterization. I will attempt to sample the stronger players who the moviegoer's emotions.

Juror #1/Foreman (Martin Balsam):

Relaxed but serious about the case. He wants to make sure everything goes tactically smooth.

Juror #2 (John Fiedler):

If you've ever seen Fiedler in a movie (you are excused if you actually live under a rock), you won't be surprised at the character. A seemingly mousy man, he sees the viewpoint of the not guilty perspective. He questions rather than just throwing contradictional arguments.

Juror #3 (Lee J. Cobb):

The last one to hold on to a guilty verdict. He is sure the trial revealed the obvious guilt of the defendant. Through dialogue, though, it seems he is bitter. His life is a disaster. He is not respectful of those people, referring apparently to the lower class and percepted miscreants.

Juror #4 (E.G. Marshall):

Stoic stockbroker who plays the unemotional quiet man. He is very serious about the trial, but is still reluctant to submit a not guilty verdict.

Juror #5 (Jack Klugman):

Comes from the low-class slums. One of the first few to turn his vote to not guilty. After hearing the reasons of those voting guilty, he realizes that opinions are being formed from perceived prejudices. Having been in the shoes of the defendant, he know these prejudices to be unwarranted.

Juror #7 the omission of juror #6 is recognized (Jack Warden):

Another of the characters to whom you will give a double-take. From the very beginning he only wants to get out of there. Besides, he's got tickets to the game. Yanks and Cleveland.

Juror #8 (Henry Fonda):

The holdout. The reason this movie runs an hour-and-a-half instead of 12 minutes. He isn't sure about the vote, but he believes the defendant deserves to have his case discussed.

Juror #9 (Joseph Sweeney):

Plays the wise sage. He is the first (besides juror #8) to offer up a not guilty verdict. He provides the wisdom of age and experience.

Juror #10 (Ed Begley):

Loudmouth bigot determined that the discussion is a waste of time. Because, you know, A kid like that. He's sick of the facts. He also has a persistent and annoying cough. I'm sure there is a significance to the cough, but I'm embarrassed to say, I can't see it. Any insight? Let me know, please.

I do recognize the omission of jurors #7, #11 (George Voskovic), and #12 (Robert Webber). Although they do contribute to the story in significant ways, these are just not the points I wish to address in this review. And so I present this as another motivation to see this movie.

Editor's Note: Ironically, my love of old movies and my animosity toward remakes starring such actors as Tom Cruise and Steve Martin (why do you do it, Steve? You can be really good. You are hilarious, but I mean, Out of Towners? Are you that desperate? Do you need money? Tom, I admit, you are a good actor, but you need to lose the smug attitude. And come on…Scientology? Really?)…this movie was remade as a TV movie in 1997. Still an all-star cast with Henry Fonda's part played by who else but Jack Lemmon. Other actors in the remake include Courtney B. Vance (Law & Order: CI), Ossie Davis (Grumpy Old Men; The Client), George C. Scott (Patton, The Hustler,…geez, if you don't know him, shame on you), Armin Mueller-Stahl (I don't know him, but he had a part in Amerika [1997], which is a must-see right now -- check it out on YouTube), Dorian Harewood (Amerika as well, Panic in Echo Park…also the voice of Shredder…sing it with me now…♫Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…heroes in a halfshell -- Turtle Power♫…okay, moving on…), James Gandolfini (The Sopranos), Tony Danza (Who's The Boss, Taxi), Hume Cronyn (*Batteries Not Included, Cocoon, Shadow of a Doubt, again, don't know him? Put down your 9G mobile whatever and soak in some culture!), Mykelti Williamson (Forrest Gump, Con Air), Edward James Olmos (Miami Vice, Blade Runner), and William Peterson (CSI: Crime Scene Investigation). Whew! Now I forget what I was saying…oh yeah, I temporarily revoke my vengeance toward star-studded remakes. This is actually a good, quality movie worth watching!

REMARKABLE DIALOGUE
Finally, a short list of quotes I think are worth repeating. You may recognize some, but these are my own picks, not ones that are particularly famous:

• Juror #7 : What's the difference how long it takes? Supposing we do it in five minutes? So what?
  Juror #8 : Let's take an hour. The ball game doesn't start til 8:00.
• Juror #1/Foreman : Let us know what you're thinking and we might be able to show you where you're mixed up.
• Juror #12 : I haven't given it much thought, but it seems to me that it's up to the group of us to convince this gentleman that he's wrong, and we're right.
• Juror #9 : I'm talking here. You have no right to leave this room!
  Juror #8 : He can't hear you…he never will.
• Juror #7 : You know, I made twenty-seven grand last year sellin' marmalade. That's not bad, I mean, you know, considering marmalade.
• Juror #10 : Bright? He's a common ignorant slob. He don't even speak good English.
  Juror #11 : He doesn't even speak good English. [smirks]
• Juror #11 : I beg pardon.
  Juror #10 : 'I beg pardon!' What're you so polite about?
  Juror #11 : For the same reason you're not. It's the way I was brought up.
• Juror #9 : Hey, what's your name?
  Juror #8 : Davis.
  Juror #9 : My name's McCardle…Well, so long.
  Juror #8 : So long.

RATING

Here is my personal rating of this movie. This rating is out of ten meows.
¹⁰ /₁₀

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