Galaxy Quest

MOVIE REVIEW OF Galaxy Quest (1999) PG

Cast
Director:	dean parisot	Runtime: 1hrs 42min ( 102min)
jason nesmith (a.k.a. commander peter quincy taggart)	.....	tim allen
gwen deMarco (a.k.a. lieutenant tawny madison)	.....	sigourney weaver
alexander dane (a.k.a. dr. lazarus)	.....	alan rickman
fred kwan (a.k.a. tech sergeant chen)	.....	tony shaloub
guy fleegman (a.k.a. crewman #6 / security chief "roc" ingersoll)	.....	sam rockwell
tommy webber (a.k.a. lieutenant laredo)	.....	daryl mitchell
mathesar	.....	enrico colantoni
general sarris	.....	robin sachs
quellek	.....	patrick breen
laliari	.....	missi pyle
teb	.....	jed rees
brandon	.....	justin long
kyle	.....	jeremy howard
katelyn	.....	kaitlin cullum
hollister	.....	jonathan feyer
tommy webber (age 9)	.....	corbin bleu
lathe	.....	wayne pére
neru	.....	samuel lloyd
autograph fan #1	.....	bill chott
autograph fan #2	.....	morgan rusler
autograph fan #3	.....	gregg binkley
navigator	.....	dan gunther
lahnk	.....	rainn wilson
brandon's mother	.....	heidi swedberg
sarris's guard	.....	isaac c. singleton, jr.
reporter	.....	jerry penacoli
announcer	.....	kevin hamilton mcDonald
inventory clerk	.....	dawn hutchins
voice of computer	.....	joe frank

WHAT I KNOW

Even after 18 years, the following of the Galaxy Quest television show is strong. At a sci-fi convention, kids (well, they look and act like kids) still swarm the autograph table donning rather embarrassing costumes, paying $15 for the John Hancock of the veteran (read out-of-work) actors who made the show a hit.

Behind the scenes, however, there is turmoil. We have Gwen (Sigourney Weaver), who played the…well…she repeated whatever the ship computer said. There is Fred (Tony Shaloub), tech sergeant on the show, but a bit aloof in his own mind. Alex (Alan Rickman) wishes he were somewhere else, literally and in his career. Tommy was the kid star on the original show, now all grown up. And finally, Jason Nesmith (Tim Allen) a.k.a. Commander Peter Quincy Taggart, star of the show and self-proclaimed ego maniac. Apparently blinded by his own self-interest (i.e. interest in himself), he is the cause of upset and unease behind the scenes at the reunion of the clan.

This animosity does nothing to help Nesmith when he returns from being taken by actual aliens (Thermians from the Klatu Nebula) who need help in defeating an intergalactic (well, we're supposing he's not just local) warlord named Sarris (Robin Sachs). Nesmith pleads with his co-actors to come with him to fight for the survival of his new-found friends. They dismiss him initially, but after careful contemplation (about 3 seconds, before they realize they don't have another gig), they decide to go with him. It doesn't take much time or effort to convince the actors that these are real aliens and that this is more than just a gig!

As it turns out, the Thermians have developed their society around the documentary transmissions of the Galaxy Quest TV show. They have built exact working replicas of all the components of the show (i.e. ship and all controls). Now, they are recruiting the cast, whom they believe to be a real crew, to fight the space warrior, Sarris.

The actors, realizing this is not a game or gig, play along, at times actually seeming to enjoy the experience. For a moment, they seem to forget their internal animosity in order to help the naïve band of Thermians restore peace and freedom to their people.

With some help from a fan on Earth (Justin Long) and his nerdy friends, an epic battle ensues that gives victory to…nah…, not gonna do it…you gotta watch the moive…but read on to see what I personally thought of it…

WHAT I THINK

This movie literally has an all-star cast that can't be beat. You've got Tim Allen (Home Improvement), Sigourney Weaver (Alien), Alan Rickman (Harry Potter), Tony Shaloub (Monk), Sam Rockwell (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), Enrico Colantoni (Just Shoot Me!), and Rainn Wilson (The Office), all in prominent roles in one of the most legitimately funny contemporary movies I have seen in years.

I will admit that when I saw that I was to be reviewing this movie, I was expecting and preparing to write a review for a cheesy, b-grade film filled with stupid jokes and a weak plot line. I was already trying to think of how I would politely rip the performances of respected actors and actresses without seeming like an ass myself.

Turns out I was worrying for nothing. I didn't have to rip anyone, including the writers (David Howard and Robert Gordon). I was happily surprised that I found myself looking forward to the repeated viewings I usually endure in order to write my review.

I will begin with the one thing that impressed me the most…the brilliant performance of Enrico Colantoni as Mathesar, leader of the Thermians. He has created an alien character not at all like I have seen before, most notably in his speech patterns. In addition, he perpetuates the characterizations unerringly throughout the entire film. As simple as this looks on paper (screen), when you watch the character, you will understand why I consider this a remarkable feat.

As for the other performances, they hold up to what you would expect from such actors of this caliber. Were that not the case, I wouldn't have bothered to write this review, except for maybe another worst movie week, which is always good for a laugh. I mean, we're talking about Adrian Monk and Severus Snape, for Heaven's sake!

Moving on (yeah, I couldn't come up with a decent segue, so I'm just gonna jump right ahead), you should be able to spot right away that this is a parody of (or more accurately, an homage to) the original Star Trek television show. As cheesy as you may think either show is/was, I ask you how many shows you have produced that people still watch and admire today?

The script was a surprise to me as well. My expectations didn't exceed those of Plan 9 From Outer Space. I am almost embarrassed to say that I truly thought it was very well done. The scenes shot as the actual Galaxy Quest television show were scripted with just enough exaggeration to easily distinguish them from the rest of the movie, which contained scenes mimicking Galaxy Quest episodes.

After this possibly unbelievable praise, I feel an obligation to alert you, you MUST watch more than the opening scene before turning it off and declaring me looney. The first scene is part of an old episode of the Galaxy Quest television show. That being fair warning, I assure you that the rest of the movie is quite entertaining.

One final personal note: I am not usually one to give such a positive review (or any review at all, for that matter) to movies given cult status. But for this one, I make exception.

REMARKABLE DIALOGUE
Finally, a short list of quotes I think are worth repeating. You may recognize some, but these are my own picks, not ones that are particularly famous:

• Gwen : Well, Alex, at least you had a part, okay? You had a part people loved. I mean, my TV Guide interview was six paragraphs about my boobs and how they fit into my suit. No one even bothered to ask what I do on the show.
  Fred : You had the…wait, wait, I'll think if it…
  Gwen : I repeated the computer, Fred.
• Alex : I won't say that stupid line one more time!
• Jason :[waving finger across throat] I gave you the 'kill' gesture.
  Gwen : No, I gave you the 'we're dead' signal. I was agreeing with you. Like I know where the 'hold' button is.
• Guy : Hey guys, there's a red thingy moving toward the green thingy.
  Jason : What?
  Guy : Red thingy moving toward the green thingy. I think…I think we're the green thingy.
• Fred :[very calmly and nonchalant] Hi guys. Listen, they're tellin' me that the, uh, the generators won't take it. The ship is breaking apart, and all that. Just FYI.
• Alex :[to Quellek] By Grathbar's hammer, by the Sons of Warvan, you shall be avenged!
• Gwen : Look. I have one job on this lousy ship! It's stupid, but I'm gonna do it, OKAY?!
• Gwen :[core implosion detonation countdown stops at 00:01:000] It always stops at 1 on the show!
• Gwen : Whoever wrote this episode should DIE!
• Sarris : You fool. You fail to realize that with your armor gone, my ship will tear through yours like tissue paper.
  Jason : And what you fail to realize is, my ship is dragging mines.
• Brandon :[racing out the door with an armful of fireworks] Be back soon!
  Brandon's Mother : Wait! Brandon, where are you going with all those fireworks?
  Brandon : Well, the Protector got super-accelerated coming out of the black hole and it, like, nailed the atmosphere at Mark 15, which, you guys know is pretty unstable, obviously, so we're gonna help Laredo guide it on the vox ultra-frequency carrier and use Roman candles for visual confirmation.
  Brandon's Mother : Alright…dinner's at seven. [turns to Brandon's Dad] Well, he's outside.

RATING

Here is my personal rating of this movie. This rating is out of ten meows.
¹⁰ /₁₀

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