Night of the Lepus

MOVIE REVIEW OF Night of the Lepus (1972) PG

Cast
Director:	william f. claxton	Runtime: 1hrs 28min ( 88min)
roy bennett	.....	stuart whitman
gerry bennett	.....	janet leigh
cole hillman	.....	rory calhoun
elgin clark	.....	deForest kelly
sheriff cody	.....	paul fix
amanda bennett	.....	melanie fullerton
jackie hillman	.....	chris morrell
jud	.....	chuck hayward
frank	.....	henry wills
mildred	.....	francesca jarvis
dr. leopold	.....	william elliot
professor dirkson	.....	robert hardy
deputy jason	.....	richard jacome
housekeeper	.....	inez perez
walker	.....	g. leroy gainter
major white	.....	evans thornton
dispatcher	.....	i. stanford jolley
leslie	.....	robert gooden
truck driver	.....	walter kelley
doctor	.....	frank kennedy
cutler	.....	don starr
arlen	.....	peter o' crotty
officer lopez	.....	phillip avenetti
priest	.....	russell morrell
wife in car	.....	donna gelgur
husband in car	.....	stephen deFrance
child #1 in car	.....	sherry hummer
child #2 in car	.....	rick hummer
television newscaster	.....	jerry dunphy

PLOT SUMMARY

We start with news broadcast from real-life legendary news reporter Jerry Dunphy. This report is not terrifying, but it is warning that there has been an explosion in population among rabbits. News footage includes black-and-white archive film from Australia of rabbits storming and stampeding the land. Then, color footage is shown of Arizona land owners trying to battle a similar problem. The newscaster goes on to explain that this introduction of rabbits, known scientifically as Lepus, (and also making for a better movie title than Night of the Rabbits) was initially meant to supplement the food supply in Australia, but has gotten out of hand. It is now threatening nature's balance. Attempts to control this influx, however, have been called barbarous.

The movie focuses on a particular instance in the U.S. where a scientific, and significantly more humane method is being tried to control this invasion.

One rabbit escapes the control group, and for no apparent reason, becomes enormous and, naturally, evil. As rabbits do, this one, if able to speak, would never utter procreation and procrastination in the same sentence.

For the remainder of the movie, the rabbits terrorize the little (in human population...not land size) Arizona town, churning out mutilated bodies now, until a solution is hopefully found to rid the invasive mutants. The only question is, Will the humans find a solution before the rabbits kill the entire human race?! ⋘SPOILER ALERT!⋙ Yeah. they will…

TECH INSPECTION

Right from the first scene (after the pseudo-news report) this film lost 5 meows from this animal lover...watch to see why.

For some unknown reason, when things get bigger than normal, they become evil. Ironically, when other things become smaller, they too become evil (e.g. cell phones, televisions, intimate parts of the human anatomy…). Anyway, this apparently has been a common belief throughout movie history. From King Kong (1933), Godzilla (1954), and Mothra (1961), to Eight Legged Freaks (2002) and Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009), the bigger they are, the meaner they get. And, according to this film, inherent cuteness doesn't discriminate. Lizards and insects are one thing, but cute little bunnies?…Never…except when you attach an ominous-sounding Latin classification such as Lepus.

Despite well-known personalities such as Stuart Whitman (Murder, Inc.), Janet Leigh (Psycho), and Bones…I mean Dr. McCoy…I mean DeForest Kelly (Star Trek), this movie was in no way a launching pad for great talent. Probably more like a source of ridicule for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

In all fairness, I don't think this movie is much worse than any of the other movies of this genre, but it's really no better, either. There is the expected, and apparently mandated, special effects such as extreme close-ups and miniature props to give the illusion of hugeness, and slow-motion footage. As is common knowledge, when things grow bigger, they, and everything around them, moves through space at a slower rate…including the breeze, which also blows dirt and leaves slower.

If you are a big fan of these types of movies (you know what I'm talkin' 'bout, Willis…and you know who you are), then knock yourself out and buy the DVD (chances are you already have it on VHS). Otherwise, you can thank me for watching it for you so you don't have to.

I will say, to this movie's credit(?), I have seen truly worse movies (e.g. Troll 2…see post for March 26, 2012 below), but that doesn't legitimatize using up time watching this one. You've got to admit, though, they are rather fun.

If you are looking for a bad movie to which I have actually given more than two meows, check out Rubber (Saturday, March 24, 2012 below).

QUOTES
Finally, a short list of quotes I think are worth repeating. There are only two this time, but this movie was not exactly brimming with witty or even intelligent dialogue:

• Gerry : We were trying to make Jack a little more like Jill, and Jill a little more like Jack…
• Amanda : A real gold mine?
  Jackie : Well, he hasn't found much yet…but he says he's going to…Come on!

RATING

Here is my personal rating of this movie. This rating is out of ten meows.
² /₁₀

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Intensity

MOVIE REVIEW OF Intensity (1997) TV Movie

Cast
Director:	yves simoneau	Runtime: 3 hrs 6 min ( 186 min)
edgler foreman vess	.....	john c. mcGinley
chyna shepherd	.....	molley parker
ethan trevaine	.....	blu mankuma
lori	.....	lori triolu
jim woltz	.....	brent stait
young chyna shepherd	.....	katie stuart
laura templeton	.....	deanna milligan
jack templeton	.....	kavan smith
miriam braynard	.....	piper laurie
ariel delane	.....	tori paul
mr. john q. citizen	.....	alex diakun
mrs. john q. citizen	.....	babz chula
george jespersen	.....	alfred e. humphreys
tom	.....	edmond kato wong
sarah templeton	.....	meredith bain woodward
peter templeton	.....	wally dalton
carmen trevain	.....	b. j. harrison
tight shoes	.....	merrilyn gann
chairperson	.....	gillian barber
head of the hospital	.....	jerry wasserman

PLOT SUMMARY

In this film adaptation of Dean Koontz's novel of the same name, Chyna Shepherd (Molly Parker) is a damaged young woman on her own. It is seen (mostly through flashback) that her parents were frighteningly abusive. Drugs and liquor were constantly present and openly displayed and consumed. Her father was a sociopath and murderer. Her mother loved her, but was just as much a, for lack of a better term, loser, as her father. Chyna remembers, as an adult, ways, rhymes, and chants her mother told her to recite to herself when she is frightened or is feeling threatened. These come in very handy throughout the movie.

Chyna is invited to Thanksgiving dinner at the house of her best (and perhaps only) friend. This is where the terror begins.

The friend's family is murdered by an unknown person in the middle of the night. Chyna hides from the killer, but secretly hitches a ride with him so he won't "get away." When the killer (John C. McGinley) stops for gas, Chyna learns that he has kidnapped a little girl named Ariel (Tori Paul), and is keeping her in his basement. At this point, the killer, Edglar (yes, Edglar...not Edgar, as is elaborated upon later in the story), explains the twisted reason why he kills, while also revealing the justification behind the title of the movie/book.

Chyna hitches all the way to Edglar's secluded house in the woods. where he company only with three attack dogs.

Eventually, when Chyna is discovered, he holds her captive as well. A conversation ensued which reveals the psychology of why each of them is where they are at this moment, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

When Edglar goes to work, Chyna finds Ariel in the basement. Chyna is then determined that she will get herself and Ariel out and away to safety before Edglar gets back from work, and somehow bring him to justice.

Finally, prepare yourself for a shocking, and I don't just throw that term around lightly, twist that intensifies the story tremendously.

TECH INSPECTION

I have not read the novel from which this movie was adapted. Nor have I read any of the novels from the mind of Dean Koontz. If this movie is any indication of his overall collection, I certainly have a new set of books to be explored.

Intensity is the perfect title for this story. From the moment you first see the killer's shadow in the bushes, you only need four inches of your chair, because that's where you'll be...provided you don't fall off completely.

John C. McGinley actually doesn't stray far from his snide character of Dr. Cox on Scrubs. Difference being that the sarcasm displayed with Dr. Cox is now portrayed with all seriousness with Edglar.

Casting in this movei is spot-on, and I felt I was in the midst of all the terror being experienced by Chyna, et. al. Whether that is good or bad, I can't say for sure.

Finally, if you take away nothing else from this film (and I'm confident that will not be the case), it will be the wanting of your breath back from the unexpected twist near the end. I cannot remember a more shocking development, especially in a movie, as is presented here.

Keep an eye out for symbolism and inconspicuous literary suggestions throughout the movie. In particular, the white coyotes versus Edglar's black guard dogs.

This was a made-for-TV movie, so good luck finding it on DVD (Amazon.com manufactures it on-demand on DVD-R, and has some unusual specifications and restrictions regarding successful playback). However, I strongly recommend you make every effort to secure a (legal) download online. It is worth the trouble. At the very least, pick up a copy of the book at your local library. If the precedent holds true, it will be even better than the movie. My name is already on the reserve list at the digital library here in Ohio. I'm number 3

QUOTES
Finally, a short list of quotes I think are worth repeating. You may recognize some, but these are my own picks, not ones that are particularly famous:

• Chyna : This idea you have that I am good 'friend' material is all in your head.
• Sarah : So, you have three choices, rinse, baste, or chop.
  Chyna : Chop.
• Edglar : Are you ready for your closeup, Ms. Desmond?
• Chyna : GO TO HELL!
  Edglar : Your mother never taught you to talk like that, did she?
  Chyna : You don't know my mother!
• Ethan : Whole world stops for a bunch of damn fool turkeys.

RATING

Here is my personal rating of this movie. This rating is out of ten meows.
¹⁰ /₁₀

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Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

MOVIE REVIEW OF Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972) PG

Cast
Director:	j. lee thompson	Runtime: 1hrs 28min ( 88min)
caesar	.....	roddy mcDowall
breck	.....	don murray
lisa	.....	natalie trundy
macDonald	.....	hari rhodes
inspector kolp	.....	severn darden
busboy	.....	lou wagner
commission chairman	.....	john randolph
mrs. riley	.....	asa maynor
hoskyns	.....	h. m. wynant
aldo	.....	david chow
frank	.....	buck kartalian
policeman #1	.....	john dennis
policeman #2	.....	paul comi
auctioneer	.....	gordon jump
announcer	.....	dick spangler
zelda	.....	joyce haber
ape with chain	.....	hector soucy
armando	.....	ricardo montalban

PLOT SUMMARY

It is North America in the year 1991, twenty years after Cornelius and Zira traveled back from the future and were killed for being talking apes. Apparently, their son Milo, later to be called Caesar, was not shot and killed as was indicated at the end of the previous movie.

Instead, the circus owner Armando (Ricardo Montalban) has been harboring him all these years and keeping him safe in his circus.

In the meantime, the world has turned ugly. A plague was introduced to Earth from space in the early 1980s. This plague wiped out the entire population of dogs and cats. Humans were immune, but this left them with no housepets (what about gerbils?). Discovering the learning capabilities of apes, the humans adopted them as the new housepet. However, they also adopted them as slaves. So far as to start using them for tasks that took over jobs such as waiters and deliverymen.

Ape Management was the term used to describe the tortuous means by which apes were trained to become the slaves of the people.

Armando sneaks Caesar into the city on a field trip to distribute flyers about his circus. Through a turn of events, Caesar is lost, and Armando is held by the governer on suspicion of owning the missing talking ape (apparently illegal).

Caesar sees proof of the direction in which the human captors have taken ape labor, and leads a revolution to have apes take over in an ironic switch of power and dominance.

TECH INSPECTION

Although I found Conquest to be one of the better Planet of the Apes movies (and I would expect nothing less from an associate producer such as Frank Capra, Jr.), as it does make a bold political statement, I do have my share of criticisms...

Among the most obvious is the use of awkward dialogue. This is first and most apparent in Armando's character. The writers left it to this character to bear the burden of relaying backstory for viewers who may have missed Escape from the Planet of the Apes and for the events since then. These parts were written as though we were taking a break from the movie for Storytime with Armando.

However, Ricardo Montalban pulled it as much out of the gutter as he could have possibly been expected to. Good job there.

Also, as shipments of apes are brought from other countries, they are announced with banners such as 507 I for Indonesia. You would think an alpha-numeric code would be something that would not have to be expanded in order to be explained or understood. Shipment 507 I should be self-explanatory.

I have a feeling that this sequel was not planned ahead of time. It felt as though the resurfacing of Caesar (Milo) was a struggle to conceive for this movie. We all saw the wrapped up child shot several times in the last movie. And the explanation is rather weak in this one.

Ricardo Montalban and Roddy McDowall both return in this movie (although McDowall plays his former character's son), which does nothing but enhance the quality of the picture. And that's probably what added another meow to my personal rating.

Ironically, Caesar's final soliloquy is a forshadowing of the last Planet of the Apes movie and of the events of the original film (which chronologically have not yet happened).

Important: Note the signs of and allusions to Nazi Germany that are interjected in this movie.

QUOTES
Finally, a short list of quotes I think are worth repeating. You may recognize some, but these are my own picks, not ones that are particularly famous:

• Caesar: I understand, Mr. MacDonald. Yes, I am the one they are looking for.
• MacDonald But we don't do that...to humans.
• Breck: Don't plead with them, you idiot!
• Breck: This will be the end of human civilization, and the world will belong to a planet of apes!
• Breck: When we hate you, we're hating the dark side of ourselves.

Here is my personal rating of this movie. This rating is out of ten meows.
⁸/₁₀

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Mrs. Santa Claus

MOVIE REVIEW OF Mrs. Santa Claus (1996) G

Cast
Director:	terry hughes	Runtime: 1 hr 30 min ( 90 min)
mrs. santa claus	.....	angela lansbury
arvo	.....	michael jeter
augustus p. tavish	.....	terrence mann
nora kilkenny	.....	lynsey bartilson
officer doyle	.....	bryan murray
marcello damaroco	.....	david noroña
sadie lowenstein	.....	debra wiseman
santa claus	.....	charles durning
mrs. lowenstein	.....	rosalind harris
mrs. brandenheim	.....	grace keagy
mrs. shaughnessy	.....	linda kerns
izzy	.....	chachi pittman
fritzie	.....	sabrina bryan
emilio	.....	bret easterling
henry	.....	mitchah williams
elf #1	.....	kristi lynes
elf #2	.....	jamie torcellini
michael kilkenny	.....	mick murray
stage doorman	.....	ken kerman
man in the santa suit	.....	john wheeler
italian neighbor	.....	tony perrotta
jewish neighbor	.....	jean kaufman
miss macGonnigle	.....	stacy sullivan
piano player	.....	jerry herman
elf #4	.....	courtney pakiz
elf #5	.....	marilyn rising

PLOT SUMMARY

It's 1910, and production at the North Pole is ahead of schedule. All the toys are finished and the elves are going home early. Santa (Charles Durning), however, still has a ton of work to do before the big night. Mrs. Claus (Angela Lansbury) has some ideas of her own to share. But Santa is too busy to hear them on this night, so she has Arvo (Michael Jeter), the supervisor elf, rig up the reindeer for a quick trip around the world as a test run for Santa.

As they start out their journey, a bit of inclement weather causes the sleigh to make an unexpected pit stop in New York City.

Welcome to the world of Avenue A! Where you'll hear ¿Cómo estás?, Bless my soul!, and Oy Vey!

And as a result of a harsh touchdown, Cupid has injured his leg and will be grounded for a week...right up until Christmas Eve!

Mrs. Claus presents herself as Mrs. North and secures lodging at a boarding house run by Mrs. Lowenstein (Rosalind Harris), a Jewish immigrant who always keeps a bag packed in the closet for fear of being deported. Her unwarranted fear stems from the actions of her boisterous daughter, Sadie (Debra Wiseman). Sadie is this story's version of Sarah Brown (Guys & Dolls). She is a soapbox crusader for women's suffrage, and as with the pledge from Sky Masterson to bring a dozen sinners to the mission, Sadie is trying to get a group of women to march with her for a rally at Union Square.

Meanwhile, another resident at Mrs. Lowenstein's is Nora Kilkenny (Lindsey Bartilson), an Irish girl living with her father. This little hooligan is longing for the day when they can bring her mother and baby brother over from Ireland.

There is also a romantic storyline between Sadie and Marcello (David Noroña), the stable boy who is looking after the reindeer.

But the main conflict in the story comes from the sweat shop toy company, Tavish Toys. Augustus P. Tavish (Terrence Mann) is the Grinch in this story. He is out to ruin everyone's Christmas by making all the toys inferior so they will fall apart the day after Christmas. His motto is It only has to last 'til Christmas!

As it happens, Nora works at Tavish's factory, and gets Mrs. Claus a job as a supervisor. Mrs. Claus sees the horrible conditions under which the children are working, and sets out to change them. In the course of her actions, a secret is revealed about Augustus Tavish that explain why he wants to ruin Christmas.

And speaking of secrets, if you pay close attention to the end of the movie, we learn Mrs. Claus's first name (at least for this movie).

TECH INSPECTION

What a terrific Christmas movie! This is the first one in my VCR (yes, it's on VHS) every year, before It's a Wonderful Life and A Christmas Story.

Here we see a Disney® musical featuring Angela Lansbury...a perfect trifecta, as we saw in Beauty and the Beast. This one, however, adds the magic of live-action! Of course, as with most Disney® movies of this nature, the music will be coming out of your mouth for days after you hear it.

Multiple religions and cultures are combined on this one street in New York City. The actors and actresses are cast perfectly. Outstanding performances form another trifecta with Angela Lansbury (as if she's ever done anything less), Charles Durning (R.I.P.), and Michael Jeter as Arvo, Elf Supervisor.

If you are paying close attention, and have also seen this movie for the eighty-seventh time, you will see the parallels to other movies you should have seen (watch them if you haven't).

Guys & Dolls: Sadie is the Sarah Brown of this story. Sans band, Sadie stands upon her soapbox (literally), shouting for women's suffrage. Sadie also parallels Sky Masterson by pledging to bring a huge group of followers to Union Square to take part in a rally for equal rights. (Watch the movie or see the show if you don't make the connections.)

An American Tail:Santa and Mrs. Claus have the North Star as their special star; the icon they both look to when he is out on his journey. It brings them together when they are apart. Mrs. Claus also shares this wisdom with Nora when she is missing her family, and when she learns that Mrs. Claus must leave too.

Even 4 weeks after Christmas, and even if you don't celebrate it, put this movie into whatever player will accept it, and experience a joyful, cheery day!

QUOTES
Finally, a short list of quotes I think are worth repeating. You may recognize some, but these are my own picks, not ones that are particularly famous:

• Santa Claus : Is it me, or are there more children in the world every year?
  Mrs. Claus : Well, as it happens, there are.
• Sadie : No, mama. This is a free country.
  Mrs. Lowenstein : For free, they'll throw us out of it!
• Nora : I don't suppose you know anything about makin' toys.
  Mrs. Claus : Oh....
• Mrs. Claus : There are some problems, Mr. Tavish. I mean, the heat, for instance...
  Tavish : Heat? I don't feel any heat. Do you?
• Sadie : ♫ A girl with a drive and a fellow with a dream...are like pickled herring, with vanilla ice cream. ♫

RATING

Here is my personal rating of this movie. This rating is out of ten meows.
¹⁰ /₁₀

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Albert Nobbs

MOVIE REVIEW OF Albert Nobbs (2011) R

Cast
Director:	rodrigo garcia	Runtime: 1hrs 53min ( 113 min)
albert nobbs	.....	glenn close
emmy	.....	antonia campbell-Hughes
helen dawes	.....	mia wasikowska
margaret 'madge' baker	.....	pauline collins
mary	.....	maria doyle kennedy
sean casey	.....	mark williams
patrick donahue	.....	james greene
mrs. moore	.....	serena brabazon
mr. moore	.....	michael mcElhatton
milady	.....	dolores mullaly
miss shaw	.....	bonnie mcCormick
mrs. cavendish	.....	phyllida law
dr. holloran	.....	brendan gleeson
monsieur pigot	.....	kenneth collard
madame pigot	.....	judy donovan
viscount yarrell	.....	jonathan rhys meyers
viscountess yarrell	.....	phoebe walter bridge
mrs. smythe-Williams	.....	emerald fennell
mr. smythe-Wlliams	.....	john light
mr. sweeney	.....	daniel costello
mrs. gilligan	.....	angeline ball
mr. gilligan	.....	philip o' sullivan
joe mackens	.....	aaronn taylor-Johnson
polly	.....	brenda fricker
young kitchen maid	.....	katie long
older kitchen maid	.....	katie o' brien
porter	.....	mark doherty
george moore	.....	rhys burke
milly moore	.....	lauren kinsella
hubert page	.....	janet mcTeer
laundry maid	.....	katie ann mcDonough
laundry maid	.....	kathleen warner yeates
laundry maid	.....	cate macGabman
cathleen	.....	bronagh gallagher
woman on landau	.....	antoinette healy
chocolate shop waitress	.....	annie starke
nanny	.....	cathy white
health official	.....	malcolm blacow
country girl	.....	lily melcher
country girl	.....	lucie melcher
albert joseph (helen's baby)	.....	raul riva
polly's dog	.....	juno
laundry maid	.....	anna elizabeth mcGrath
snooty dinner guest	.....	una caryll

PLOT SUMMARY

Albert Nobbs (Glenn Close) keeps a humble living as an in-house waiter at the Morrison Hotel in 19^th century Dublin, Ireland. Albert also has a secret...he is a she. In a world where women are not held with high respect, this is her only way of accomplishing her dream of owning her own business. She is stashing her wages and tips in the floorboards. Enter Hubert Page (Janet McTeer). Hubert is the inspiration that changes Albert's life. This is mostly from the fact that Hubert, too, has a secret.

Several complex characters add to the many sub-plots that weave together nicely in the ending.

TECH INSPECTION

First, I must say that I am not a big fan of period pieces. Therefore, it is saying volumes when I express my admiration of this movie. Once again (I believe the third time since I began this blog), I am persuaded to praise the quality of foreign movies. This one is brought to us from Ireland.

Glenn Close is absolutely brilliant as Albert Nobbs. Make-up, of course, is part of the magic, but Close's performance had me constantly forgetting that it is a female character. Her co-star, Janet McTeer, also gives an unbelievable performance. I have a problem, though, with her low-list billing.

I won't go into too much detail, because the entire movie runs a similar course as a mystery. At each turn of a scene, another advacement in the scheme of things makes you put off that bathroom break another five minutes.

If, however, you find you can't move past the cross-dressing, secret affairs, and hypocric---I mean aristocracy, then you ought to just leave this movie alone and go see Jean Claude Van Damme. It is a mature movie for those who can see the artistic value of a thoughful story of people living with deep secrets that are disrupting and destroying their lives.

Although not deeply emotional movie, emotions are an essential aspect of the telling of the story.

One last praise for this film is earmarked for the title song. Written by Brian Byrne and Glenn Close, and sung by Sinéad O'Conner, "Lay Down Your Head" is simply enchanting, and very appropriate for this movie.

EXTRA

I am not one to point out trivial discrepancies in a review. I will, however, make an exception here.

When Albert goes to visit Hubert for the first time, Mrs. Page invites her to stay for dinner, she tells Hubert to take Albert's hat and coat. The catch...Albert isn't wearing a hat. The redemption...Albert is carrying an umbrella, so Hubert takes that instead.

QUOTES
Finally, a short list of quotes I think are worth repeating. You may recognize some, but these are my own picks, not ones that are particularly famous:

• Sean : Give us some marmalade, Mister Donahue.
  [Patrick passes the salt halfway]
  [Albert passes the salt to Sean with a grin]
  Sean : The marmalade
  Polly : The marmalade, Patrick. Pass the marmalade to Mister Casey.
  Patrick : Always on Tuesdays if I recall correctly.
• Dr. Holloran : Why aren't you in fancy dress?
  Albert : Me, sir? Well...I'm a waiter.
  Dr. Holloran : I'm a doctor. We are both disguised as ourselves. That's a good one, eh?
• Helen : Do you know what, Mister Nobbs? I think you are the strangest man I have ever met.
• Helen : You don't know Albert Nobbs if you think you can get him to pay our way out of here. He wouldn't give you the steam off his water.
• Dr. Holloran : Oh, Albert Nobbs.
• Dr. Holloran : Dear Jesus, I don't know what makes people live such miserable lives.
• Helen : His name is Albert...Albert Joseph.
  Hubert : So it's a he, is it?

RATING

Here is my personal rating of this movie. This rating is out of ten meows.
¹⁰ /₁₀

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Oh God!

MOVIE REVIEW OF Oh God! (1977) PG

Cast
Director:	carl reiner	Runtime: 1hrs 38min ( 98min)
jerry landers	.....	john denver
god	.....	george burns
bobbie landers	.....	tery garr
doctor harmon	.....	donald pleasence
sam raven	.....	ralph belamy
george summers	.....	william daniels
judge baker	.....	bernard hughes
reverend willie williams	.....	paul servino
bishop reardon	.....	barry sullivan
diinah shore	.....	dinah shore
rabbi silverstone	.....	jeff corey
briggs	.....	george furth
mr. mccarthy, district produce manager	.....	david ogdon stiers
greek bishop markos	.....	titos vanois
adam landers	.....	moosie drier
becky landers	.....	rachel longaker
jerry dunphy	.....	jerry dunphy
TV reporter	.....	mario machado
mrs. green	.....	connie sawyer
mrs. levin	.....	jane lambert
check-out girl	.....	kres mersky
TV engineer	.....	byron paul
room service waiter	.....	hector morales
court clerk	.....	wonderful smith
court stenographer	.....	murphy dunne
religious fanatic	.....	boyd bodwell
girl	.....	zane buzby
norman	.....	dennis kort
mechanic	.....	bob mcClurg
checkout-girl #2	.....	celeste cartier
dinah's guest	.....	carl reiner
police officer	.....	john ashton
courtroom spectator	.....	arthur tovey

PLOT SUMMARY

Jerry Landers (John Denver) is your average middle-class guy; wife; two kids-one boy and one girl; manager of the local supermarket; and, oh, yeah...an atheist. This, of course, makes him the perfect candidate for the job God (George Burns) has for him...to spread the Almighty's message to the world.

So, after finally being convinced that this in not a hoax, Jerry takes on all the standard hits of your typical nobody-can-see-him-except-the-hero movie.

Jerry finally realizes that regular people aren't going to get the message out in the way God wants, so he goes a bit higher. He meets with representatives from all the major faiths, including a bloodsucking evangelist who takes in millions of dollars in donations for the church.

The issue finally comes down to a courtroom battle for the determination of Jerry's sanity.

Is there any hope for mankind, or should God just scrap the whole mankind project thing and start over?

TECH INSPECTION

George Burns was one of the funniest straight men who ever lived. Star of vaudeville, radio, television, and movies, he said he never could have done it without Gracie (Allen), but this movie challenges that statement..

This is a great movie for religious and non-religious alike. After all, the main characters are God, and an atheist. It is a movie about being a decent human being on your own. But we have to share in the effort. Sometimes it's about the little things.

This movie pokes fun at the scam-based sect of the religious community, while preserving the idea that mankind still has control, but we shouldn't leave it all up to God. Nor should we blame others for our shortcomings.

There is still hope. As my grandmother used to say to her children, "I brought you into this world, I can just as easily take you out of it!"

This is a really funny movie, without resorting to overuse of slapstick comedy or vulgar (easy) jokes as is often the remedy today for a lame script (which most of them are). Definitely a movie on which to reflect, while being entertained in the best of ways.

QUOTES
Finally, a short list of quotes I think are worth repeating. You may recognize some, but these are my own picks, not ones that are particularly famous:

• Landers : Uh, sir...
  Security Guard : Yes, sir?
  Landers : H...h...h...h...how do I get to the uh, twenty-seventh floor?
  Security Guard : In this building?
  Landers : Yeah.
  Security Guard : I'm afraid you'd need a can opener. We only have seventeen floors.
• God : Ostriches were a mistake. Silly looking things. Avocados...made the pit too big. Like I say, you try.
• Landers : I don't belong to any church.
  God : Neither do I.
• Bobbie : And he thinks he's God?
  Landers : Well he thinks he's God. And I'm in no position to argue with him.
• Bobbie : So, is that all he told you...that you're going to be the saviour, and that...to tell everybody that we have down here can work, huh?
  Landers : Yes. He also told me that he was very disappointed in avocados.
  Bobbie : He is?
  Landers : He said he made the pit too big.
• God : They've figured out so many ways to talk to each other that finally nobody can.
• God : You deliver those papers to Reverend Williams. The one who looks like a football player.
  Landers : I didn't like him.
  God : He's having one of his big dos at the Shrine Auditorium. Every time I turn around, he's spreading the word...my word. Only my words he ran out of years ago. I'll tell you the truth, the reason I put everybody here naked...I wasn't trying to be cute. I just didn't want to create clothes. With clothes is right away pockets. With pockets you gotta put something in them, right? You take these answers and give them to Reverend Big Mouth and you say that God says he's a phony. And also tell him if he wants to get rich, fine...tell him to sell shoes. But personally tell him, I'd like him to shut up.
• God : You do a show like that, you don't let them put you on in the last few minutes. That's for fellows who write diet books. /li>
  
• Landers : While you're watching over me, would you mind watching the road, too?
  God : I'd rather watch a nice sunset.


• Court Clerk : Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
  God : So help me, me.


• Landers : Aren't you coming back?
  God : No.
  Landers : Ever?
  God : When Ever comes...we'll see.

Here is my personal rating of this movie. This rating is out of ten meows.
¹⁰ /₁₀

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